PLEASE HELP ME.! i just dont understand life.?

how can you love someone so much and try so hard to make them happy but they still need that OTHER person in their life? are you really the one that completes them? or are they meant to be together and am i just getting in the way? when they say they love me do they really mean it or is it just another phrase that they think will get them what they want from me? is noone genuine anymore? does noone care about your feelings or if they hurt you in the process of getting what THEY want? why does everyones life revolve around lies and hatred. what happend to little house on the prairie times where everyone was grateful to just get dinner that night and noone wanted to hurt their family, peers or even their enemies? why does everyone just come and go, walk past like nothing is wrong? like i'm not sitting here drowning in my sorrows waiting and wondering why the world is so mean? why noone likes me. why i don't look like that one person everyone wants to be. how is it that some people's life seem so perfect. i envy them i want to be just like that. but it is impossible. i fake character, fake my life, fake my clothes, hair and face? why do i think that it's necessary to BLEND in to STICK OUT. why do i live my life in fear everyday. scared of that one GANGSTER that might just choose me. afraid of that one TEACHER who could send my dreams out the window. afraid of the WORLD and everything it has to offer. but most of all afraid of MYSELF