Will you rate my poem? (1 worst... 10 best?) PLEASE? best answer gets 10 pts tomorrow!! or later on today!?

I would give it a 5. Although you make your point, it does not flow smoothly and some of the lines are choppy. Also, poetry doesn't have to rhyme and often times your poem will come out better if you don't try. You can say the same thing very artfully, and it won't sound so forced because you are not struggling to come up with one word that fits just right . It is nice though : )